Ask Emme: Dress Code

Comment

Ask Emme: Dress Code

Q: I was at lunch with a colleague recently when she said she had been asked by my supervisor to speak to me about the length of my skirts. Apart from the fact that I would have preferred that my boss talked to me directly, my skirts are actually no shorter than anyone else’s. I think I’m being targeted because I’m full-figured, and I’m very annoyed. How do I handle this situation?

A: Skirt lengths at the workplace should be no higher than two-and-a-half inches above the knee, no matter how divine your legs happen to be.  (I can hear a collective groan)  Call me old fashioned, but this is where I come from.  If you and your colleagues are nowhere near the ballpark, then you should all make adjustments, not just you. (but don’t count on it). Then calmly go to your boss and tell him/her that you’re disappointed that he/she didn’t approach you personally. I know that you’re feeling singled out, but now is a good time for you to step up and turn the negative into a positive. Raise the standards of your company’s dress code by lowering your hemlines and direct more attention toward your smarts and hard work.

Comment

Ask Emme: Desperate for Marriage

Comment

Ask Emme: Desperate for Marriage

Q: One of my best friends desperately wants to get married. She’s getting set up on blind dates, signing up on online dating sites, calling up old boyfriends and she even cut off all her hair thinking she needed a new look. Unfortunately, her efforts aren’t paying off and she’s really depressed and difficult to be around. I’ve tried to give her advice and have told her that finding a partner would be a nice plus, but her expectations of marriage after a few dates is unrealistic. Now she’s upset with me, what’s a friend to do?

A: This is a classic case of the more you try to make something happen, it won’t. You can never force love, marriage, or friendship. It has to evolve in its own time. She’s upset because she knows you’re right. I applaud you for being so diplomatic because what she’s doing is a major turnoff for any guy who comes near her. Telling her to get a life is a bit harsh, but it’s the truth. I suggest helping her understand why she is placing such urgency on being married. There seems to be something deeper going on there and I bet it’s a fear of not finding someone seeped with low self-esteem.

Only when she’s able to deeply connect and respect her truest self and true beauty that the chance of a good man will come along. Healthier to let go to faith that all is exactly the way is should be while she allows time to get her “house” in order. From there all good things flow!

Comment

Ask Emme: A Cookie is Just a Cookie

Comment

Ask Emme: A Cookie is Just a Cookie

Q: I have a friend who tells me what I can’t have very time we go out to eat. The last time, I wanted a cookie and she said, “What? Have you kissed size 12 good-bye to say hello to size 18 forever?” She had asked me to stop complaining about my weight, and I did… but now she does nothing but! How do I get her off my back?

A: Stop the insanity and tell her to get with it; that diets stink and eating well, is in. When you deny yourself food that you don’t eat regularly, like cookies, you crave it, and eventually overdo it the next time you bump into that goodie.

Take a page from my book.  I was quoted by Alex Witchel, which made the quote of the day in The New York Times as saying, ”A cookie is just a cookie, get over it! ”  
 

Comment

Ask Emme: Deal Breaker

Comment

Ask Emme: Deal Breaker

Q: I have a friend who is incredibly selfish. She never asks me about my life or my feelings and seems only to want to talk about the shoes she just bought or the makeup colors for fall. She’s the kind of person who won’t chip in the extra few dollars to cover the check, even though she’s ordered the most expensive thing on the menu. I’d like to stop being her friend, but I don’t know how. What do I say to her?

A: What a bummer! I think we all have one friend that fits this bill but why do you put yourself in the same situation over and over again not having addressed this, for the frustration? How can you be surprised by her actions if you haven’t told her your feelings and hurt you’ve become? If she’s unaware this bothers you, it will continue, even more so if she doesn’t want to change once she is faced with it.  I have a feelings she’s been like this all along. We choose our friends for various reasons: to fill a need, to learn from and hopefully, to grow independently. In this case,your expectations for your friendship have not been met and it’s now a problem for you, or have you changed in some way since you became friends? Understanding yourself  will ease some of your stress and help the needed conversation between you two, if you think it would change her behavior .  My advice is not to break off the friendship but to limit the time you spend with her and forgo any meals where bill splitting demands and seek some new friends who are less self centered and more aware!

Have a question to AskEMME or have a comment?  I’d love to hear from you below!

Join the conversation and like Emme on Facebook -  tell your friends!  You never know when Emme might be in your hometown!

* AskEMME previously published in MODE Magazine

Comment