Viewing entries tagged
relationships

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DESPERATE FOR MARRIAGE

AskEMME: DESPERATE FOR MARRIAGE

Q: One of my best friends desperately wants to get married. She’s getting set up on blind dates, signing up on online dating sites, calling up old boyfriends and she even cut off all her hair thinking she needed a new look. Unfortunately, her efforts aren’t paying off and she’s really depressed and difficult to be around. I’ve tried to give her advice and have told her that finding a partner would be a nice plus, but her expectations of marriage after a few dates is unrealistic. Now she’s upset with me, what’s a friend to do?

A: This is a classic case of the more you try to make something happen, it won’t. You can never force love, marriage, or friendship. It has to evolve in its own time. She’s upset because she knows you’re right. I applaud you for being so diplomatic because what she’s doing is a major turnoff for any guy who comes near her. Telling her to get a life is a bit harsh, but it’s the truth. I suggest helping her understand why she is placing such urgency on being married. There seems to be something deeper going on there and I bet it’s a fear of not finding someone steeped with low self-esteem.

Only when she’s able to deeply connect and respect her truest self and true beauty that the chance of a good man will come along. Healthier to let go to faith that all is exactly the way is should be while she allows time to get her “house” in order. From there all good things flow!

 

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Brushed up for today, originally posted in MODE Magazine
© 2016 All rights reserved by Emme Associates, Inc.

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GOTTA HAVE GIRLFRIENDS

AskEMME: GOTTA HAVE GIRLFRIENDS

Q: My boyfriend and I have been together for a couple of years, and without really noticing it, I gradually stopped hanging out with my girlfriends. At first they would nag me about it, but then they simply stopped calling. Now my beau wants to throw a birthday party for me and I feel strange approaching my friends. It’s been a year since I’ve seen them, and I’m afraid they’ll tell me to get lost.

A: Hey, this is not all bad. Your boyfriend sounds like a nice guy and you feeling guilty about abandoning your friends is a wake-up call. 

Girlfriends are vitally important to have in all stages of life. The key here is to balance your relationships. Just as you need time alone to take care of yourself and time with your boyfriend, you need girlfriends to relate to and share with. Your friends will forgive you. They might be a little hurt so let them have their say, then show them how much they mean to you by not only including them in the ups and downs in your life but show them that they can rely on you in theirs as well.

 

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Originally posted in MODE Magazine © 2016 All rights reserved by Emme Associates, Inc

 

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JUST FRIENDS

AskEMME: JUST FRIENDS

Q: For the past couple of months I have been attracted to a man who’s a customer at the bank where I work. I finally got up the nerve to ask him out to dinner, and he accepted- however, he also told me he has a girlfriend. He is involved in a long distance relationship, so he suggested just being friends. Well, the dinner was wonderful, and I understand his commitment to his girlfriend, but my instincts tell me to go for what I want - which is him.

A: You’ve been warned, so unless you get signals from him that he wants to be more than friends (and leave his long-distance lover), back off. If you were to pursue this, I see a long and winding road to disappointment. His heart is with her. Keep on being your attractive and intelligent self; you deserve someone available and just right for you!

 

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Originally posted in MODE Magazine © 2016 All rights reserved by Emme Associates, Inc

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I DO OR I DON’T

AskEMME: I DO OR I DON’T

Q: I have been dating a married guy for a couple of years and he
just finalized his divorce. (I had nothing to do with the divorce- he had separated before we met.) Now that he is legally unattached my emotions keep fluctuating. Why is this happening?

A: Sometimes what we can’t have is what we want most. The dynamics of your relationship have shifted and the reality of it may not be what you expected. Take a good look at why you were attracted to him in the first place. Don’t rush any decisions you may be making at this time.

Your feelings are valid and it’s important to note (feel) and address what's most important.

 

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Originally posted in MODE Magazine © 2016 All rights reserved by Emme Associates, Inc

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