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Raising a Girl Who Knows and Loves Her Body

Sally

My Mom Sally, and me. Central Park Zoo, NYC 1968

Raising a Girl Who Knows and Loves Her Body

Happy International Day of the Girl!

Today I'm sharing part of some research on raising girls who love their bodies.
Girls at menarche don't suddenly appear, fully formed, as young women. By this point, they have accumulated more than a decade of impressions and ideas about themselves, their bodies, their worthiness, and how they are expected to behave.

If they don’t enter adolescence with boundaries and a sense of self, they are set up to have body shame, feel pressure to conform, and not know what they want or how to talk about it. They often don’t know how to assert their needs with adults—and in the worst cases, they are vulnerable to violation.

There is an immense opportunity in the first 12 years of a girl’s life for our next generation of women to be purged of unhelpful, regressive beliefs.

Studies have shown that mothers carry the culture of womanhood within them.

So when we change our own world views, our daughters pick up on it. To prepare a girl for a life where her woman-self experiences sensual, sexual, and reproductive joy, parents can teach their daughter (or daughters!) to:

  • Know her intrinsic worthiness

  • Learn that her body belongs to her

  • Name her intimate body parts

  • Normalize talk about all of her body

  • Feel her body from the inside, not just look at it from the outside

  • Find her joy in movement

  • Name her likes, dislikes, and desires

  • Know that she is not limited by gender

  • Protect herself from ill-intentioned adults

  • Christia Brown, an expert in adolescence, says, "It's about using your body in a way that feels comfortable and strong to you, and feels that you're the agent in charge of your own being—not an object for someone else."


These rules could apply equally to boys in our culture. But women have a larger set of cultural body challenges, and more predatory behaviors to recognize and overcome.

It's the job of adults to protect children, but we can't be there for them all the time. So how do we help them protect themselves? Shockingly, one in nine girls under the age of 18, and one in 53 boys, experience sexual abuse or assault at the hands of an adult. There are places where kids are particularly at risk, and we need to monitor their physical environments. Some of the riskiest places are with so-called "trusted" adults! So a lot of their preparation for such situations must be internal.

“I do what I am told” is one of the most damaging messages to a girl's sense of self. Girls (and boys) have to know what to say when an adult oversteps a boundary. To do this, they must be comfortable with “respectful disobedience”: knowing safety protocols, and intuiting when it is not safe to do what an adult says. And when our daughters and sons approach us with their concerns, we as adults have to listen and act.

Let us keep unwinding unhelpful beliefs in ourselves, our daughters, and our granddaughters.

All love, to your eternal beauty.

Christine Marie Mason

Founder, Rosebud Woman

Thank you Christine for your powerful words above. I feel blessed to know you my new soulful and empowered friend.

It’s an honor to highlight empowered women who speak their truth on behalf of others. Any take-away gems from “Raising a Girl Whol Knows and Loves Her Body” above are seeds of Christine’s life’s work and truth. It’s my hope we can plant these seeds in fertile ground for more self-love to permeate not only our own lives but the lives of our most important resource, our children.

*reposted from Rosebud Woman October 12, 2021

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Our Social Dilemma Opportunity

The Social Dilemma documentary/drama on Netflix hits home and stops us in our tracks. The film is a must-see. It's no surprise we're painfully addicted to our phones for a multitude of real and very dangerous reasons but little did we know how much …

The Social Dilemma documentary/drama on Netflix hits home and stops us in our tracks. The film is a must-see. It's no surprise we're painfully addicted to our phones for a multitude of real and very dangerous reasons but little did we know how much serious money was being made at our expense.

The Social Dilemma

The New Documentary/drama On Netflix

One of the most important films of 2020, and that's putting it lightly.

 

I think it's safe to say we've all heard engaging in social media can be and is addicting for millions of children, young folks, and adults, but that's more than an understatement today.  I'm not exaggerating.  If you haven't seen The Social Dilemma yet, please do and tell all those you love to watch it also.

Dilemma's timing couldn't be more in line with an epidemic of mental wellness slowly being pushed harder and harder with everything shaking stability underfoot today. What's at stake here is a whole lot more than simple mindless entertainment - an entire business has been built under our noses making billions upon billions of dollars off of what we do online. Every move, purchase, search engine lookup, every second online is being tracked for big money. Our online actions are being traded as -  human futures.  I can't believe I just wrote that. The new commodity happens to be you and I and everyone else around the world, who owns a smartphone. According to PewResearch.org, "Today, it is estimated that more than 5 billion people have mobile devices, and over half of these connections are smartphones."

Daunting right? Without a question, but therein lies a treasure trove of opportunity.  Knowledge is Power - Beacon

  • We can disengage if not greatly limit our usage to such an extent, the campaigns utilizing AI technology will not have an opportunity to track us as they have anymore. It takes a group effort, a collective action - globally. If we do, keeping we can break this chain of maleficence.

  • With all these newfound hours, we can get back outside, put in our 10k steps come rain, shine, or snow.

  • Be present in the here and now - soak in the color change fall brings us.

  • Take a break from our home office, call up a friend, and have a socially distanced cup of coffee, outside.

  • Re-engage in life and ask if every time we reach for our phone, "is it necessary, does this bring me joy, happiness?

  • As entrepreneurs, we post socially to make a living. We can do just that then walk away.

  • Create a social media consumption competition at work and at home (with rewards) to see who can reduce most. This way as a whole, we get a real understanding of how much everyone is consuming and encourage each taking responsibility and owning their part of the solution.

  • Start discussions around what ethics is and how it applies to our families and businesses we support by buying their products. If there is a disconnect, be bold and speak up. Holding folks accountable opens up communication lines.

  • Question of the day: If the banks are all deeply regulated, why aren't social media companies regulated as well by holding them to the same ethical standards that other industries need to follow?

  • Lastly, put an end to fake news. (putting my old reporter's hat on here). Check the source. Bonafide news is taken very seriously by dedicated, hard-working journalists, educated and trained to honor what they communicate and how they communicate to the masses. The power a journalist has on-air and off, has many checks and balances to make sure what they communicate given their best ability is correct. Put this power in the wrong hands, we've got problems as we see today. Any news source outside of this gold standard is not delivering the news. Period.

Thank you Medium's Brad Dibben  -- to learn more of what is mentioned in the film, check out Brad's list here:

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#PLAYSWEATWIN 2020!!

Play. Sweat. Win. 

This year, I intend to clear the way for more of an abundant mindset in what I say and do. That includes intentionally taking action around my self-care, on a consistent basis - no matter how busy I am, I’m scheduling my movement time. 

Emme+finishing+swim+Danskin.jpg

It’s a must to schedule workouts! In 2020 I’m entering two Triathlons, a Spartan Stadion race at Citi Field with Dr. Jenn, an ABC Chief Medical Correspondent, ObGyn, Nutritionist, Best-selling Author, Fitness Freak ! (We’re going to have so much fun!) and more!

My wellness journey doesn’t just begin with healthy eating habits and incorporating a workout regimen into my everyday routine. It takes determination and self-motivation to be able to train and endure rough terrain, extreme temperatures, and pushing through fatigue. I make it a priority to work out consistently, 5-6 days a week, which preparing me for those conditions. Training not only makes me stronger physically but prepares me to overcome each obstacle I face and become stronger mentally as well. 




My training includes a 5:45 A.M. cycle class. Yes, really. Though getting out of bed in the dead of winter is the absolute LAST thing I want to do in the morning, I encourage myself by thinking about how rewarding it will feel once my workout is complete.

Emme bike Danskin 2012.jpg

That’s when the phrase and hashtag, “ #Playsweatwin,” rings most true. I always need to play…then if I sweat I know I’m working-it, so if I play and sweat, well, it’s a WIN WIN all around!

Following my spin class - on occasion I take a 3.2-mile brisk walk/run outside. If not, I save my walk run’s for every other day I don’t spin. When it snow, you’ll find out outside. Snowshoeing on the weekends is a luxury — it’s one of my favorite activities in the winter!

With all this activity, I basically wring out my stress and build conductive energy. When I don’t move, shake, jump or groove, it’s like I’m missing something. So kicking-it is a part of my groove and what makes me a happy and well-adjusted individual, on most days:)

Being a cancer survivor (thriver), I am keenly aware of how food and products affect my body. I try to incorporate healthy eating into this routine as often as possible and make wellness choices when I shop for food and cleaning products for my own home. (My SHOP will reflect many of my favorite things in the next month so check back!) When I purchase, I go for as many non-toxic, organic and best quality goods and foods as possible. I truly feel this upfront investment keeps me literally out of the hospital.

I love to eat and have a voracious appetite. When I return from my walk or run, I make myself a healthy gluten-free, dairy-free breakfast. Avocado mash with dairy-free feta cheese on whole-grain gluten-free toast as one of my go-to breakfast combinations. Other days, I enjoy some Chobani yogurt with granola (by some miracle, Chobani doesn’t actually hurt my stomach!). 

I live by the motto “love the skin you’re in” and “go for the joy!” My main goal is to keep healthy and fit to enjoy all life has to offer -  be a supportive mom, friend, and mentor. I hope you all consider coming along on this journey with me. 

Tag #playsweatwin and together, let’s motivate one another and build energy to accomplish what we’re here to do. 




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Love the Skin You’re In!

Health + Happiness + Habits = Living Well

 I confess I was not always happy with my relationship with my body. No big surprise since I’ve dedicated decades to the celebration of a woman’s body. (You teach what you need to learn). Thankfully, time does heal but I have discovered that by changing just a few basic habits, my whole outlook and self-image slowly transformed and will never go back.

The top habit I’m practicing makes a priority of eating loads of organic healthy veggies, meats, eggs and plenty of fresh filtered water, supplying my diet with more of that than highly processed and sugary foods. I have the cookie or two for God’s sake but leave the box for the next visit! That goes for ice cream. Have it and enjoy but avoid making it your main meal. Treat these fringe foods as guests that come to visit now and then. Before you know it, you will shame-less-ly indulge and not overdo it. Moderation always is the key, leaning hardest on the freshest food you can find, makes an incredibly happy bod. Add to this what your body needs as far as dietary supplements and you’re off to your best health, ever.

Sleep glorious Sleep takes either our #1 or #2 spot! Most of us are balancing multiple roles in our busy lifestyles, so it’s not always easy to make time for ourselves, more over get enough sleep.  Nevertheless, it is paramount that we do.  That means making time for a quickie (nap) when we need it and include activities we love.  Getting enough sleep each night is without a question, our best medicine!

Our third habit - physical activity.  No, I don’t always work out at the gym, but I do walk, swim, SNOWSHOE, or create an adventure — whatever it is , I make a conscious effort to engage in as many (outdoor) activities I possibly can.  I actually bring a bathing suit on business trips in case the hotel has a pool. A great place to stretch, do a little barre with the water up to your neck while holding on to the side then, fingers crossed for a well maintained hot tub! That’s something to celebrate. The key here is to plan ahead for your business/personal/ trips and do something you actively enjoy. Start dancing in a class or out on Friday night! Whatever you choose is going to be different for everybody.  My goal is not to achieve the perfect body, but to enjoy the activity I do and feel the joy and vitality taking place in my body. Big difference.

Habit #4:  Laughter!  For some people, it’s music or movies, but for me, it’s doing things with people who make me laugh.  I would encourage everyone to find those special activities and people who lift your spirits and free your soul and pepper them regularly throughout your life.

Last but certainly not least: meditation. Try it. Life-changing. ‘Nuf said. (Insight Timer app is free - Voted Happiest App in the world- and a good starter for beginners or for old hacks keeping it simple).

Loving the skin you’re in comes from nourishing yourself: mind, body, and soul! Now in my 50’s, I’m learning one of life’s biggest lessons to let go of other’s opinions and accept myself as I am, right here and now. Don’t waste your time to be otherwise, no one cares. They really don’t.

Be True. Be you.

 

 

 

  

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Wednesday, April 24th, Join USA Today Storytellers Project + Holy Name Medical Center for a night of unexpected stories from Bergen County!

I am thrilled to share the tough conversation that changed my life forever on Wednesday, April 24th in Ridgefield Park, NJ @ 7pm ET

As a part of the Story Tellers Project, part of the USA Today Network and my community Wednesday, April 24th at 7pm, join us as we share honest, funny, sad, happy, interesting and thought provoking conversations that changed our lives forever..

Join Holy Name Medical Center in partnership with Storytellers Brand Studio for a night of true, first-person storytelling from everyday people in Bergen, about the tough conversations that change our lives forever.

Together we will explore the power of having the right talks with the right people. This event will bring out stories from people in the greater Bergen community with compelling insights into the ways honest, vulnerable conversations changed their families, workplaces and communities. These are the unexpected stories – some charming, some surprising, some funny – from the men and women who make this community so singular.

Location: AMC Ridgefield Park 12, Ridgefield Park, NJ

Auditorium #2

AMC Ridgefield Park 12

For Tickets: https://tickets.usatoday.com/e/holy-name-conversations

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

April 10, 2019

Sheriff Cureton, Emme to Share Personal Stories at Live Event

[NORTH JERSEY] — What do you get when you put a supermodel, doctor and sheriff in the room with two activists? You get "Conversations that Changed Everything: A night of storytelling presented by Holy Name Medical Center." The USA TODAY NETWORK, part of Gannett Co., Inc. (NYSE: GCI) and Storytellers Brand Studio, are pleased to announce a true, first-person storytelling event in partnership with Holy Name Medical Center.

Body-positive supermodel Emme will join Dr. Charles Vialotti, Bergen County Sheriff Anthony Cureton, Garden State Equality Executive Director Christian Fuscarino and political activist Kaity Assaf for the live storytelling event which takes place at:

  • 7:00 - 8:30 p.m.

  • April 24, 2019

  • AMC Ridgefield Park 12, 75 Challenger Road, Ridgefield Park, N.J.


Featuring all-new stories never heard before on stage by storytellers from the North Jersey community, these are real people coached by USA TODAY NETWORK storytelling professionals.

Each teller will share a story about a tough conversation that changed their life. Emme will share a story from her early days in the modeling industry and how one negative experience could have put her on another path, but she had the fortitude to hold true to her dreams. Cureton had to go against his father's wishes to make the best call he knew for his family at the time.

Fuscarino will share a story of how he stood up and did what was right even though he was told not to by those in charge. Assaf will speak of an experience in high school where she fought for change and saw positive results. And Vialotti will share how what started as one conversation between two men are now thousands of conversations with hospice patients and their families offering comfort and peace.

General admission tickets are $10 and are available at https://tickets.usatoday.com. The event is produced by the Storytellers Brand Studio in partnership with Holy Name Medical Center.

More on the Storytellers Project:

The Storytellers Project is a nationwide series of live storytelling nights in which neighbors and notables share true, first-person stories. These events combine oral storytelling and journalism to reflect and serve communities, as well as to develop connection and empathy in them. Journalists from USA TODAY NETWORK newsrooms manage and host these nights in front of audiences of 75 to 400. The series has 100+ nights in 2018 alone, at venues ranging from the Ace Hotel and Swim Club in Palm Springs, to the Iowa State Fair in Des Moines and the Kentucky Derby Museum in Louisville. In less than 10 minutes each, everyday Americans share coached and curated stories that celebrate universal values while reflecting on themes chosen by the newsroom’s staff to be broadly appealing, including food and family, love and dating, and growing up. The Storytellers Project celebrates the idea that when we share our stories, we become emotionally and financially invested in one another and in our community.

About USA TODAY NETWORK

The USA TODAY NETWORK is the largest local to national media network in the country. Powered by integrated and award-winning news organizations with deep roots in 109 local communities, plus USA TODAY, the multiplatform news network informs and engages more than 110 million people every month through its diverse portfolio of digital, mobile, and publishing products.



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