Emmestyle

You asked. She answered. Our wonderful Emme-supermodel, superperson- helps you size things up and cope all the way around.

Q: I am 27 years old, have two kids, and am a house mom and student. Between cooking and cleaning, taking care of the kids, shuttling them to all their events, and my studies, I find I have virtually no time to exercise. I really want to get in shape by New Year's. Any ideas for this always on-the-go mom?

A: I know how hard it is to find a workout plan that is fun, interesting, and fits into your lifestyle. But as we approach the millennium, it's time to commit to exercise and the benefits it will bring you. First, try asking your neighbors if you can take turns watching each other's children on a rotating basis so you can carve out some time for exercise. Or choose an activity you love, such as hiking, biking, skiing, swimming, or rowing, and try bringing the kids with you. Family fitness goes a long way, and if you like what you're doing you won't be bored and you won't quit.

Q: I've always had a good relationship with my brother, but he, his and their baby-to-be live in York, and I live in California. Given the distance, I'm concerned that I won't have much of a bond with my new niece or nephew. How can I form a meaningful tie with the baby?

A: Your concerns are very real; many brothers and sisters feel the same way when a sibling has a child. Forget about the distance making it hard to connect-a baby is coming and your place in the family is about to change. Because your relationship with your brother is a strong one, the bond you make with the baby will be super-special no matter where you live. Make a point of visiting around the baby's birth and other important occasions like holidays. And keep in touch by phone. Let it unfold naturally, and you'll do great!

Q: I have a nice relationship with a gentleman who likes me for who I am, full-figured and all. How do I let him know how much I enjoy his company without scaring him off by using the dreaded word love? I've been hurt before, and I don't want to doom this relationship by going too fast.

A: I say save using the word love until you're sure it's the real thing. There is no reason to dread it, but overusing it could send any man running. You certainly can't hurry love and it won't appreciate being pushed along. Why repeat what you've already learned the hard way? Take your time and enjoy the wonderful journey of getting to know someone. Soak it all in without attaching your romantic expectations, and in the meantime, work on finding other words to occasionally describe how much fun you're having with him and what special times you're sharing. lake a deep breath and be confident that you are deserving of the good tllings that come to you!

Q: I am a 24-year-old woman .. My mom is Puerto Rican and my dad is Irish. For the past few months I've been dating a black man and, believe it or not, my parents would flip if tlley knew. Since I'm still living at home, I'm feeling really guilty about the whole thing. To top it off, I'm starting to get very close to this . guy, but I don't know how to explain my parents' racism to him. Should I just break up with him now before I get in even deeper?

A: Whoa! Have your parents looked in tlle mirror lately? It's really hard for me to believe you'd give up this guy for the sake of saving face with your hypocritical parents. Racism is not the only problem here-you're old enough to stand up for your personal choices. This is a great opportunity to grow. I think it's time you had a long chat with Mom and Dad about your beau. Tell them that you don't understand their racial views, especially since their own marriage is a mingling of cultures. Hear what they have to say and let them know how you feel. Then ask them if your boyfriend can come over for dinner. Hopefully, your parents' main concern is your happiness, and if they see that this man is good for you, they should be supportive. It's time to let the cat out of the bag.