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You asked. She answered. Our wonderful Emme-Supermodel, Superperson- helps you size things up and cope all the way around.
Q: I was recently at an upscale department store and found a beautiful stretch velvet dress in my size. The saleswomen (who was a size 2) was really warm and complimentary. But there were three teenagers in the department store who started discussng the size of my rear end while i was still well in earshot. I'm well aware that their opinions should mean nothing to me, but it eats away at the little self confidence that I have. Any tips on how to raise my confidence, love myself, and tell brainless girls to shove off? By the way, I did buy the dress!
A: What a shame that such a nice shoping expenence was turned into such a
sour one, thanks to the thoughtlessness of
three little brats. But I am glad you found a beautiful dress, and that's what you
should focus on too. What you really need
to remember is where that kind of venom
is coming from. If someone needs to put
you down, it's more a reflection of how
they feel about themselves than how you
look. Those teenagers must be really insecure
and unhappy, which makes them say
incredibly stupid things. As for you,
please dance up a storm in your new dress.
I am a 20-year-old, size 20 woman
who is kind of out of shape. My 19-year-
old, size 6 friend, who is pretty fit, wants
me to hike a three-mile, super-steep
trail with her. I am really embarrassed
by this because I know I won't be able
to make the climb, though she thinks
that I can do anything she can, may'be
more. How can tell her I can't?
A: Dont be embarrassed. Do something great for yourself.
Start a fitness program.
Then tell youl friend that you're totally
psyched for the challenge, but you'd like to
work up to it. The best way to do that is
to make a lifestyle change: Incorporate
hiking and walking inro your daily routine. In a few weeks, you will find a renewed
sense of self, srrength, and stamina to
make the climb without a hitch.
Q: I am married to a wonderful woman
who in her twenties was very trim and
attractive. Now, at age 50, she has
gained about 30 Ibs. I still think she's
beautiful; the problem is that she thinks
she's fat and ugly. She used to dress in
really great clothes. Now she wears
baggy outfits that make her look dowdy.
How can I convince her that she doesn't
have to look like a 20-year-old to dress
attractivly and that she needs to
accept herself as she is? Life is too short
to have a negative self-image.
A: To help answer your question, I am going to send you a mission, and it's not for the fainthearted. But it's an important one, because it will open your eye to one of the dilemmas your beloved id faving as she ages. Here's your mission: I want you to go clothes shopping for her. You will find that fantastic selections for larger women are few and far between. It will take a dedicated and devoted darling such as yourself to search and conquer. But conquer you will. Without breaking the bank, go out and buy her a few things in her size. Or better yet, go out together and shop up a storm. Getting a new wardrobe will definitely help change her mind-set. But most of all, don't forget positive renforcement. Love and compliments are still the best ways to help het feel great about herself.
Q: I've read a lot of positive letters
written to Mode by men who are appreciative
of women of size. I realize that
Ask Emme isn't a Personal Ads column,
but I was wondering if you knew where
an attractive, good-hearted, loving
woman could meet one of these great,
open-minded men?
A: Unfortunately, there's not much I can
tell you firsthand, since I've been married for nearly a decade. So I called up a few friends in the business, who are "in-the-know" to get you the most up-to-the-minute information. Here's the scoop on some dating services you might want to look into.
•Websites: Please use extra caution when
browsing internet romance sites. If you
are sure you want co meet someone from
the net, make sure it is in a public place and tell a friend about the meeting.
•BBWCity: www.bbwcity.com
•Large Encounters: www.large-encounters.com or call 212-479-7999
•Dimensions: To access Heart-to-Heart, call toll free 888-246-4204. Your ad will be online within 24 hours.